How to NOT transition between jobs

Hypothysis

• That if I want to 'try something new' in terms of a job and location, the hard part is getting the job. The rest should be simple.

Inputs & Raw Materials

• 1 x job offer that sounds like a fantastic opportunity
• Appropriate leave from existing job
• 1 x shed with just enough space for all my personal belongings
• Plan to spend 2 weeks with my family interstate prior to flying overseas
• 1 x snowboarding holiday in New Zealand

Method

1. Go snowboarding in New Zealand BEFORE the huge dump of soft, white powder. Be sure to break your hand (the one you use for writing) on the first day.
2. Assume the worst but hope for the best. You're already in NZ, so continue snowboarding for the rest of the week. If you can still use your hand, it surely isn't that bad.
3. Go see a physio upon your return home because the pains in your hand simply won't go away and you lack complete movement.
4. Let the physio refer you to get an x-ray, because it 'seems' like a fracture. Be sure the physio is the one who refers you to get the x-ray, this way Medicare will not contribute a single cent towards the cost.
5. Talk to the radiologist after reading their report which says there is an "undisplaced fracture of the scaphoid waist". Note his recommendation to get either a CT scan or an MRI for further diagnosis.
6. As recommended by the physio and radiologist, go to an emergency department to have the newly discovered fractured hand put in a cast. Make sure you select an emergency department where there is no orthopaedic registrar working, and where the doctor can barely speak English (in Canberra, this is known as Calvary Hospital).
7. Have a shoddy plaster cast put on, and wait to hear from the registrar review clinic at Canberra Hospital with the orthopaedic registrar to have things checked on.
8. When at the review clinic, pass on information regarding pains, suggestions from the radiologist to get a CT scan or MRI, and your plans to travel interstate in 5 weeks and overseas in 7 weeks. When the doctor simply tells you that "since it presents like a fractured scaphoid, we will treat it like a broken scaphoid" - take his words of wisdom, because he is a doctor after all.
9. Get more x-rays done AFTER your new waterproof cast is put on. Not only are the $120 privately taken x-rays not good enough for a public hospital, their quality was too good. It is much better to have x-rays with 'ghosting' on them due to shadowing from the cast.
10. Return to hospital a week later to have your cast split so you can fly. Make sure the nurse tapes up the cast super tight so as to constrict all blood flow to your hand.
11. Return to hospital 2 days later due to numbness in your hand. After waiting 2 hours in the emergency department, go home and fix the problem yourself.
12. Pack up your belongings and squeeze them into the shed. Having one fewer hands shouldn't hold you back too much.
13. As planned, go to the Fracture Clinic prior to your interstate trip to get a final verdict. Have the doctor point out the fracture on the x-ray and reassure you the fracture is on the non-proximal side of the scaphoid. Receive confirmation that the cast can come off in 2 weeks and "she'll be right".
14. Travel interstate.
15. Decide that it is best to seek a second opinion. Find a GP to refer you to a specialist, but have the GP not listen to you, and refer you to an occupational therapist instead.
16. Have the OT remove the cast and make a temporary splint for you. Act very surprised when some of the exercises you are given cause great pain and you don't seem to have the movement available that you think you should have.
17. Get CT scans done (via another trip to the GP of course)
18. Try to interpret the CT scans and radiologist report yourself. When you see what looks like a major fracture on the opposite side of the bone to where all the previous doctors had told you the fracture was, assume that you must be wrong because you are not a doctor.
19. Discover you are not wrong.
20. Get the OT to magically find an appointment for you with an orthopaedic hand specialist within days.
21. Note the priceless look on the specialist's face when he looks at the CT scan while you tell him that not only have you previously broken that same bone before, but you are planning on leaving the country in 3 days to start a new job.
22. Note the priceless look on your own face when the specialist tells you that a screw or pins will likely be required together with a few weeks delay in the trip.
23. Fork out hundreds more dollars getting MRIs done.
24. Await surgery on Saturday when 2 metal screws will be put into your hand to hold the bone together.

Conclusions

• For free and quick medical treatment - go to an emergency department in a public hospital. Do not try and do something stupid such as:
• pay to see a physio
• get x-rays done privately
• Canberra Hospital (aka Woden Hospital) cannot be trusted with their diagnoses. Chances are they are wrong and really haven't the foggiest what's going on.
• For good quality medical treatment - do not go to an emergency department in a public hospital. Don't even trust your GP. See someone who really cares - like a physio or an occupational therapist.
• Don't let doctors convince you all is OK when they are using hocus-pocus rather than science based reasoning and logic.
• Do not, under any circumstances, assume that just because everything is falling into place, that someone isn't going to throw a curve ball right at the last minute and laugh in your face.

So there we have it - change of plans at the last minute, and something to smile at in a few years time!