Dear Denmark

Dear Denmark,

It is time to be 100% open with you - I'm not sure this relationship is for life. That's the short, blunt, story. The long story though, is that I have not given up yet, and I want you to understand what might happen and why...

Diving the Red Sea

The Negev - like the Australian outback, but with hills and cliffs!

My three day trip to Eilat was as much about relaxing at home, as it was finally getting to dive in the Red Sea. With 3 other countries in clear sight, one still feels as if one is clearly in Israel, and not necessarily some international resort. Of course there is no shortage of foreign languages being spoken, but Hebrew still dominates (and Russian isn't that far behind). I don't remember Eilat that much from my previous visit around 20 years ago, just bits and pieces. But I'm sure it has grown and changed quite a lot - the bits I do remember, were the same.

Silence is Golden

I have just returned from a weekend trip with a bunch of friends to Helsinki. We went over there for a birthday party and an all 'round good time. We stayed at one of the Omena Hotels - a chain renowned for the sex trade due to the lack of reception and therefore lack of witnesses. Apart from getting punched in the eye by the guy sleeping next to me in the middle of the night, our hotel stay was rather uneventful. The weekend itself was filled up a really great party, a few hours walking around a city which I don't think has changed that much since last time I was there 8 years ago and a visit to the island fortress of Soumenlinna - a 20 minutes ferry ride from downtown. Of course, there was also an evening in a sauna thanks to our local Finnish hosts. The sauna involved a 20m (literally) ferry ride to the island on which it is located, a lot of sweating and relaxing, and then feeling like my feet were going to fall off my legs after going for a dip in the ice cold (well, not literally, but it felt this way). All in the spirit of good health!

My impressions of Helsinki: well, some of the stereotypes definitely have validity...

• Most people in the street look like they are going either to or from a funeral - smiling at strangers or being talkative (when sober) is possibly frowned upon.

• 

  Looking down the barrel of a canon on Soumenlinna Island
  

  Finns like drinking. I thought Danes liked it, but Finns really like it. Walking through downtown Helsinki after midnight, you struggle to find someone who isn't drunk.
• There are lots of crazies about.
• Food isn't their strong-point. This is perhaps a common theme in the Nordic Countries, and Finland isn't any different.
• The more the same vowel can be repeated consecutively in a word, the better. Bonus points if the vowel has dots on top of it.
• Finnish is impossible to understand, even a little bit.
• Turning the traffic lights off during the night at the less major intersections in the capital is an acceptable way to save the planet.
• The Finns are a damn friendly bunch of people who are very hospitable - it's worth your while getting to know one! (or more...)

The Amazing Human Body

T + 5 weeks

On the positive side, I am amazed at how quickly a a bunchy of atoms stitched together in the form of a human is able to repair itself so well when something goes wrong.

On the negative side, I am constantly astounded by the way it can fall apart so easily in the first place (both mentally and physically). It is for this reason, that certain objects, such as bicycle helmets, were invented.

As it so turns out, this story would not have been much different were said bicycle helmet on my head in the first place, but another story down the track might just be - hence its very procurement...

I'll let the pictures tell the story rather than words, it is that much more amusing.

2 days after - Fat Albert, here I come! Oh, and
now I notice bruising and grazing on my neck and chest

The day after - before the swelling started

T+10 days - I can't take the beard!

So I shave off what I can

3 weeks later - looking nothing worse than
someonewho has had a amateur plastic
surgeon work on him

So the moral of the story: just because you broke your wrist (twice) by falling on it, doesn't mean next time you fall you should land flat on your face in order to save your wrist! Whilst it does allow you to end up with a totally untouched wrist (despite the smashed watch), eating gravel is not fun!

But, as they say, when you fall off your bike, you have to get back on again. And so, after my visit to the ER I returned to pick up my bike and ride home (of course, my bike wasn't locked up so I just didn't want it to get stolen...)

Admittedly, the pain really wasn't that bad - but having stitches put in your upper lip after receiving what must have been saline water as an anaesthetic, is not pleasant. Nor, of course, is having them yanked out through scabs. Ouch!

The Most Beautiful Voyage in the World

Kristiansund - one of the last Hurtigruten stops before Bergen

Or so goes the tagline for the Hurtigruten. Although I can't say I have been on every possible worldly voyage, I can quite comfortably say that it can't be far from the truth. However, I have to admit, that it has some very good competition from the land based transport from Bergen to Oslo - or at least, the first 3 hours of it.


Although we had some super cheap (NOK 199) train fares booked for the 7 hour train ride from Bergen to Oslo, much of the first half of the journey was by bus due to track-works that were taking place. A bit annoying I thought, but in actual fact, the ride really was so absolutely beautiful that I can't say any of us cared too much. The journey along the fjord just outside of Bergen, right up to the point near Geilo provides some of the most spectacular views I can possibly imagine one can see from a bus or a train. Huge mountains dropping sharply into crystal blue ocean, beautiful small villages perched amongst green pastures at the foot of mountains, rocky cliffs, unbelievable waterfalls, and pure, green, clean landscapes. Unfortunately the dirty windows and the constant movement made good photos almost impossible - I guess this is something you will have to do for yourself...


Bergen itself is also a gorgeous city. It is famous for being rainy around 2 out of every 3 days (the statistics vary depending on the source, but no source quotes less than that...) True to form, we were not disappointed and although we had a couple of hours of dry weather, the clouds lowered onto the mountains and the heavens opened up.
Thankfully, we did indeed get to see Bergen in a great light. After arriving in town we quickly dropped our gear off at the hotel and then took the funicular up the Fløyen mountain for a great view of the city. We then embarked on one of our walking tours and despite getting a little wet, saw some interesting sights around Bergen. The inner city has a great little harbour, and this one fantastic little neighbourhood with really narrow cobble-stone streets, old houses, tiny gardens out the front, and like the rest of Norway, lots and lots of bright colours

On The Top of The World

Trondheim - our last major stop

The Coastal Steamer has been running along the Norwegian coast for over 100 years. For the past few years, it has also been known as the Hurtigruten - the name of the most recent company to run the route. Every day, a ship calls in at each of the 34 ports. Each ship takes 11.5 days to sail the return trip from Bergen to Kirkenes. Whilst not designed as a tourist experience, tourists have become an integral part of the journey, I think, primarily, to keep the business afloat. The traditional role of delivering mail and goods, and ferrying locals is apparently not that lucrative. Anyway, we hopped on board the MS Richard With in Kirkenes for a 5 night journey down to Bergen. We didn't really know what to expect - apart from a lot of peace and quiet and some beautiful sights. What we got was so much more...

It's The End of The World As We Know It, and I Feel Fine

Not in the sense of time or epoch, but if the earth was flat, this would be pretty close to the edge. Kirkenes isn't quite the northernmost town in Norway, but I think it could be described as the most remote on the mainland. Past the 'hump' of the northern bit of Europe, north of Finland, and only a handful of kilometres from the Russian border lies a a very sleep, yet seemingly industrial town of around 7,000 inhabitants. This is the last stop of the Hurtigruten ferry - a transport which has been the lifeblood of many of the 34 towns and villages it stops at along its journey from Bergen right up here into the Arctic Circle. At times, especially in years gone by, when roads became impassable and planes had no chance of landing - the Hurtigruten ferries made there way here to deliver goods, deliver mail, and ferry passengers. Today, although still working boats with a practical purpose, passenger cabins have been created for those 'tourists' who want to simply experience the beauty of the Norwegian coastline. This is where my parents and I start our voyage.

Fantastic panorama of Kirkenes thanks to the wall outside the local shopping centre.